2004-01-28 - 4:32 p.m.
I think when bad news comes down the road, I face it and then I ignore the hell out of it. That’s what I’m doing with the primaries. My man Dean is crashing and milquetoast Kerry is surging. Not Edwards, who seems to be classy about the whole business, but KERRY. It literally makes me sick. Sick because I am realizing there are more of THEM than there are of US. More people who believe in electability as opposed to principles. More people who place importance on a the negative implications of a concession speech than the impact of a elect official who voted for a war resolution and waited for another candidate to stand by his principles and make it ok to criticize a war he initially supported. All I can say it that everyone who voted for Kerry better get off their fucking electability asses and make sure that Kerry wins the fucking election.
Enough of that. In other ephemera, I am totally loving the fact that Lleyton Hewitt and Kim Clijsters are engaged. There is always a soft spot in my heart when athletes date each other. I never liked Andre Agassi, but when he married Steffi Graf, I went totally to his corner. I love the fact that in the world where Pete Sampras married Bridgette someone and Andy Roddick is dating Mandy Moore, Lleyton and Andre END UP WITH THE JOCKS. In fact, Andre dumped cheerleader Brooke Shields and married the jock with the big schnoz Steffi Graf. There’s something very reassuring about that. Good luck to you Lleyton and Kim. I hope you see you two playing mixed doubles against Andre and Steffi.
Let’s talk about the really important race – the Oscars.
It’s been clear who I want to win – Lord of the Rings! That Sean Astin or Dominic Monaghan didn’t get a nomination is a real crime. Mirando Otto should have gotten a nomination as well but we all know that will never happen. I’m realizing that however much people say they’re good, “gritty” movies just don’t do it for me. So things like Mystic River, 21 Grams or the House of Sand and Fog bore the shit out of me. Mr. Activision and I once watch you can count on me and we left wondering what the whole point of the movie was. I realize anything that says slice of life is going to bore me silly. That’s why I hate Lars Von Trier movies. I hate that he puts his heroines (or victims) through hell and then through some more hell. What’s the point? No really, what’s the point?
So here are my picks and pans:
BEST PICTURE
• The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
• Lost in Translation
• Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
• Mystic River
• Seabiscuit
Seabiscuit was the total filler nominee. There really wasn’t anything to distinguish it. I mean Mystic River has great acting (so I’m told). Lost in Translation had Sofia Coppola being an even better director than her dad. Speaking of Sofia, did anyone hope against hope Sofia would smear some fake blood on her as she received her Golden Globe and then fall to the ground whispering “Dad?” That would have been classic. Lord of the Rings was good. And Master and Commander had Russell Crowe. What did Seabiscuit have? A horse? Come on. But you already know I want Lord of the Rings to win.
DIRECTOR
• Fernando Meirelles, City of God
• Peter Jackson, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
• Sofia Coppola, Lost in Translation
• Peter Weir, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
• Clint Eastwood, Mystic River
Along with the Lord of the Rings love, Peter Jackson needs to get Best Director. However, I wouldn’t be pissed if Sofia Coppola won for Lost in Translation. I would love to see her redeem herself for her performance in Godfather III. And to see if she will do the “dad?” line.
ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
• Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
• Ben Kingsley, House of Sand and Fog
• Jude Law, Cold Mountain
• Bill Murray, Lost in Translation
• Sean Penn, Mystic River
My not-so-secret desire is to see Johnny Depp get it. It’s rare that we see an actor without ego in his acting (his personal life is a whole different matter). Rather than playing the hero who gets the girl, he plays the drunken loutish pirate. A GAY drunken loutish pirate. This coming off of his Sleepy Hollow performance where he play a PRISSY Ichabod Crane. This is so different from someone like Sean Penn who’s all about “the Craft” as if he were practicing witchcraft. While I respect his performances, Sean Penn always takes these gritty gritty roles that say method actor. Has it been that long since Jeff Spicoli? But I also wouldn’t be sad if Bill Murray got it since he is the anti-Steve Martin.
ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
• Keisha Castle-Hughes, Whale Rider
• Diane Keaton, Something's Gotta Give
• Samantha Morton, In America
• Charlize Theron, Monster
• Naomi Watts, 21 Grams
We all know Charlize will get it since she a beautiful actress who went ugly. But really, I want Keisha Castle-Hughes. She’s so amazing. I wouldn’t even mind Samantha Morton because In America was so goddamn good.
ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
• Alec Baldwin, The Cooler
• Benicio Del Toro, 21 Grams
• Djimon Hounsou, In America
• Tim Robbins, Mystic River
• Ken Watanabe, The Last Samurai
I think I also need express some undying love for In America, which just blew my mind away. I loved Djimon Housou who was used his bigness to showcase his ability to be gentle. So GO DJIMON!
ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
• Shohreh Aghdashloo, House of Sand and Fog
• Patricia Clarkson, Pieces of April
• Marcia Gay Harden, Mystic River
• Holly Hunter, Thirteen
• Renée Zellweger, Cold Mountain
Since Oscars are often about rewarding a body of work and not a particular performance, Patricia Clarkson should get the award, even though Renee Zellweger gained weight for her role so she’ll get it. But come on! Did anyone see Far From Heaven? Patricia Clarkson gave a manner but somehow believable performance, and she didn’t need to gain a fucking pound for it (and therefore didn’t have five gazillion articles proclaim her a patron saint of compassion for knowing what fat people go through).
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
• Denys Arcand, The Barbarian Invasions
• Steven Knight, Dirty Pretty Things
• Andrew Stanton, Bob Peterson and David Reynolds, Finding Nemo
• Jim Sheridan, Naomi Sheridan and Kirsten Sheridan, In America
• Sofia Coppola, Lost in Translation
It could go any way for me between Finding Nemo (can Pixar ever make a BAD movie for a change?), In America, and Lost in Translation (Dad?).
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
• Robert Pulcini and Shari Springer Berman, American Splendor
• Braulio Mantovani, City of God
• Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens and Peter Jackson, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
• Brian Helgeland, Mystic River
• Gary Ross, Seabiscuit
Duh! If you hadn’t guessed it already, Lord of the Rings.
FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
• The Barbarian Invasions (Canada)
• Evil (Sweden)
• The Twilight Samurai (Japan)
• Twin Sisters (The Netherlands)
• Želary (Czech Republic)
Evil. I would love to see Evil win. Hehehehe.
ANIMATED FEATURE
• Brother Bear
• Finding Nemo
• The Triplets of Belleville
Brother Bear? Are you kidding me? Finding Nemo will get this one.
ORIGINAL SCORE
• Danny Elfman, Big Fish
• Gabriel Yared, Cold Mountain
• Thomas Newman, Finding Nemo
• James Horner, House of Sand and Fog
• Howard Shore, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Lord of the Rings. Yet again.
ORIGINAL SONG
• "Into the West" from The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Fran Walsh, Howard Shore and Annie Lennox
• "A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow" from A Mighty Wind, Michael McKean and Annette O'Toole
• "Scarlet Tide" from Cold Mountain, T Bone Burnett and Elvis Costello
• "The Triplets of Belleville" from The Triplets of Belleville, Benoit Charest and Sylvain Chomet
• "You Will Be My Ain True Love" from Cold Mountain, Sting
I will buck my Lord of the Rings love and go with “A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow.” It’s surprisingly touching. I think it stands on its own as a song.
There are all these technical awards that might as well be handed to Lord of the Rings. So there.
