2005-07-16 - 9:06 p.m.
This is where I realize that I'm a writer. I never thought of myself as a writer, because my experience writing has always been for school or work. I never wrote for fun - except for one embarrassing journal I kept while studying abroad (where somehow I go on and on about a guy and STILL don't realize I'm queer), I never wrote for myself until I started verucaamish. THANKS dharmaqueen! She started me on this road. Now there's verucaamish and certain other side projects that are keeping me busy.
I call myself a writer now because I am turning to writing to express what I can't completely do in speech. June will be leaving town tomorrow and we all gathered for a low key evening to celebrate the time we spent together. The DC winters were too much for her and she's moving back to Cali. It's been nice having another Cali refugee as part of my circle of friends. She went to school in the same town I grew up and I love sharing SoCal social references with her.
As a former college level player, June kicks ass. She could kick my ass two ways to Tuesday but, instead puts up with my erratic groundstrokes. In the year that I've been playing with June I've improved so much because of her gentle advice and patience. She's THAT kind of person. She never let on that she was frustrated that I was never going to approach her level and I appointed her my unofficial coach.
One time mr. activision asked me who I would do The Amazing Race with (since we could NEVER do that as a couple). My answer came naturally – JUNE! June is special. She came into our group of friends, Rootbeer's girlfriend. Then she just became our friend. Somehow, June survived three-hour car ride to the beach with us along with having to cook dinner and pitch a tent in the dark. It's hard to describe how easy it is to be with her when we spend time shooting the shit and talking about our day.
I missed her as soon as I hugged her goodbye last night. Being the big baby I am, I cried this morning. It just happened. I woke up. Went to the bathroom. Went to back to bed. And then as I laid down, my heart and stomach gave a little clench and my eyes welled up and I quietly lost it. Thank God for mr. activision who held me as I felt the wash of emotion pass over me. As I left the bed after crying, mr. activision asked me where I was going and I said, "to write."
